ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS AND CONTRIBUTING RESOURCES
Author: Teresa Seputis
Editor: Alison Bowling

Sections:

1. What is a mentor?

2. Jesus as the "Great Mentor"

3. The Practicalities of Mentoring

Lesson 1

What is a mentor?

You have an interest in learning more about prayer and intercession. And you may be wondering, 'What on earth does mentoring have to do with intercession?" If you are new to intercession, you might want to know if being mentored is something that you will find helpful. If you are fairly experienced in the area of prayer and intercession, you may be wondering if you should consider becoming a mentor and helping others to learn to become effective intercessors.

What I would like to do in this three week series is to look a bit at the topic of mentors, and discuss how that topic relates to prayer and intercession.

What Is A Mentor?

Let's start by defining what a mentor is. Here are a few dictionary definitions of "mentor":

A person who gives another person help and advice over a period of time and often also teaches them how to do their job.

- Cambridge Dictionary

A wise and trusted guide and adviser.

- Wordnet Vocabulary Helper

A trusted counselor or teacher to (another person).

- American Heritage Dictionary

A more senior or experienced colleague appointed to help and advise a junior employee.

- AND Concise Dictionary

I really like this last definition because it points out a very important fact. A mentor is not necessarily someone who has arrived. It is simply someone who is a few steps ahead of the person they are working with and they can help that person move forward towards the goal. In fact, a person who is only a little ahead of you will probably be able to help you more than someone who is tons ahead of you. That is because the person who is tons ahead of you may not remember back to the struggles you are going through and the questions you have. But someone who has recently been right where you are will be able to identify with your position. They will also be able to share what they did to move to the next step.

There is a myth about mentors that I would like to dispel from the very beginning of our discussion. A mentor is not necessarily the most advanced of prayer warriors. Rather a mentor is a person who is committed to helping others to grow in their gifting, to become more effective in prayer and intercession. A mentor may themselves still be in process and may in fact be mentored by someone else. But they are committed to reaching out to one or two others and helping them along. Mentoring is spending time with a person, getting to know them and helping them to improve. A mentor does not have to be an expert, they merely have to be a few steps ahead of the person they are mentoring. A mentor should still be growing themselves and they should still be making progress in their personal walk with God. Anyone who thinks they have arrived and has nothing else to learn is, in my estimation, a dangerous person to be mentoring others.

My husband and I used to compete in ballroom dancing. We took lessons from a professional who was himself a competitor. Ed and I competed as amateurs. Our teacher competed as a professional, and he usually took first or second place in the various international competitions he entered. He had a waiting list of people who wanted to take lessons from him. If anyone might be considered arriving in the area of ballroom dance, this man would be a good candidate. But did he just sit on his laurels and teach? No, he and his partner took lessons themselves from various other professional world champion dancers and retired world champions. They constantly strived to improve their dancing. Likewise, a mentor is one who is never satisfied in their own personal walk with God. They are always looking to grow in Him, to become more transformed to the image of Christ, to grow closer to God, to become more effective in prayer and spiritual warfare.

There is one thing God told me that has really stuck with me, regarding being a leader. He told me, don't get too far ahead of the people you are leading, or they won't be able to see you. He was speaking figuratively, telling me that I as I grow in Him, I must help others to grow as well, to "bring them up with me" so to speak. If I did not do this, then I would eventually get so far ahead of the people I was leading that they would not be able to identify with me any more.

Mentoring relationships must not be too unbalanced. Don't look for the world famous prayer warriors to be your mentor, unless you are almost at that level yourself. If you look for a mentor who is too far ahead of you, you may find yourself intimidated by that person, and that is not conducive to an effective mentoring relationship. Rather look for someone who, right now, is where you would like to be a year from now. That person will be a good candidate to mentor you, providing they are willing.

Why would someone want to have mentor?

We want a mentor so that we can get better at moving in our spiritual giftings and anointing. We want to better develop the character of Christ in our lives. We want someone who understands the questions we struggle with and who can share their insights with us.

There was a time when I was desperate for a mentor in the prophetic and none were available. I kept trying to put myself under people who were not really qualified to help me learn. It was a bit of a disaster, and it was frustrating. That was because I tried to jump ahead of God and get my own mentor instead of letting Him select one for me. But when God thrust me into the place of forming the prophetic school, He began to supply the mentoring resources that I needed. In other words, He brought a mentors along when I truly needed them to do what He called me to do.

What I am trying to say here is that we can want a mentor because it seems like a good idea to have one. But it is not a good idea to have a mentor until it is God's idea. However, God will not expect us to trudge forward totally on our own as we begin to walk out what He has called us to do. He will bring qualified people along to mentor us. We don't want "just any" mentor .. we want the mentor who God has selected for us.

On the flip side, you may find yourself in the position of being the mentor that God has selected to help someone else grow. You might want to ask God, "Are you nuts, Lord?? I am not mentor material. I have so much to learn myself!" Just remember, God's criteria for a mentor is not having fully arrived... it is being in process with Him and being willing to care about someone else and help them along. We certainly don't want to enter into a mentoring relationship that God has not ordained. But if you hold yourself back and disqualify yourself as a mentor when God is asking you to help someone out.. that person loses out by your resistance. They may be desperate for help in areas that you have already mastered. They may be struggling with questions that you have recently figured out. If God calls you to mentor someone, don't leave that poor person stranded. Be open to the possibility that God may have you help someone along while you are "en route" yourself.

Hints for success in a relationship with a mentor

Don't look for someone too far ahead of you to be a mentor.
Don't expect your current mentor to be your only or your life long mentor. God will bring along the people you need as you need them. At times I have had 2 or 3 mentors at once, other times only one or maybe even none. Some people who mentored me before do not mentor me now. You need to look to God in the arena of mentoring, not to your current mentor. Let God decide who and when and for how long.
The mentor relationship needs to be mutually beneficial .. look for ways to make it beneficial. If you are the person being mentored, look for ways to help or assist your mentor in their life or work or ministry.
Be teachable and demonstrate some initiative if you are the person being mentored. If you are the person doing the mentoring, offer suggestions and insights, but don't try to force or coerce the person into doing it your way. Give your mentee the "room" to make their own mistakes and learn from them when they need to do that.
Mentorships usually form out of relationships. Don't look to total strangers who impress you. Look to those people where there is already some form of relationship.
Deep friendships often (but now always) form from the mentor relationship.. a deep mutual caring for one another. It really works best when it is a mutual relationship, not a one-sided one.
Deep respect and loyalty develops on the part of the mentee towards their mentor.
There will occasionally be times of friction... the key is to treat each other with dignity/respect as you work through whatever issue has caused the tension.

Lesson 2

Jesus as the "Great Mentor"

One time I sat down and read the gospels to explicitly look at the disciple's relationship with Jesus. I found 14 traits as I looked at the mentoring interaction between Jesus and His disciples. I believe that Jesus was serving as a role model of a good mentor. We should look for these traits in modern mentoring relationships as well.

Here are the 14 traits from the disciple's perspective:

They sat under his teaching in public meetings.
Sometimes Jesus would initiate private teaching just for them.
They had private access to Jesus to ask questions.. they initiated a lot of questions.
They fellowshipped with Jesus.
They worshipped God with Jesus, such as observing the Passover and singing a hymn together.
They did not always understand what He was trying to teach them.
They were sometimes corrected or rebuked.
They sometimes let their mentor down, but their mentor did not disqualify them.
They were sometimes praised or encouraged.
They were given opportunities to be "raised up" .. being allowed to do real ministry receiving an impartation of anointing.
They ministered with Jesus and He debriefed with them afterwards.
There was a friendship there.
They had great respect for Jesus and a deep loyalty and commitment to Him. But there were also times they were intimidated by their mentor.
They could count on Jesus to protect them from criticism and to support them.

Now that we have the list, let's look at a few scripture examples for each item on it.

They sat under his teaching in public meetings. In other words, when Jesus held public meetings, His disciples were there, listening to His teaching and being instructed along with everyone else. Here are a few examples:

Mark 6:1-2

1 Then He went out from there and came to His own country, and His disciples followed Him. 2 And when the Sabbath had come, He began to teach in the synagogue.

Mark 2:15-17

15 Now it happened, as He was dining in Levi's house, that many tax collectors and sinners also sat together with Jesus and His disciples; for there were many, and they followed Him. 16 And when the scribes and Pharisees saw Him eating with the tax collectors and sinners, they said to His disciples, "How is it that He eats and drinks with tax collectors and sinners?" 17 When Jesus heard it, He said to them, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance."

Mark 11:11

11 And Jesus went into Jerusalem and into the temple. So when He had looked around at all things, as the hour was already late, He went out to Bethany with the twelve.
Sometimes Jesus would initiate private teaching just for them. The disciples had more access to Jesus than the average person. Jesus went out of His way to teach them more than just what He taught publicly. He was committed to helping them learn and grow spiritually.

Mark 8:31-33

31 And He began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things, and be rejected by the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again. 32 He spoke this word openly. Then Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him. 33 But when He had turned around and looked at His disciples, He rebuked Peter, saying, "Get behind Me, Satan! For you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men."

Mark 12:41-44

41 Now Jesus sat opposite the treasury and saw how the people put money into the treasury. And many who were rich put in much. 42 Then one poor widow came and threw in two mites, which make a quadrans. 43 So He called His disciples to Himself and said to them, "Assuredly, I say to you that this poor widow has put in more than all those who have given to the treasury; 44 for they all put in out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all that she had, her whole livelihood."
They had private access to Jesus to ask questions, and they initiated a lot of questions. The disciples were a bit proactive in their relationship with Jesus. They valued His insights and experience. They had a level of access to Jesus that others did not have. They could approach Jesus and interact privately with Him.

Mark 4:1-10

1 And again He began to teach by the sea. And a great multitude was gathered to Him, so that He got into a boat and sat in it on the sea; and the whole multitude was on the land facing the sea. 2 Then He taught them many things by parables, and said to them in His teaching: 3 "Listen! Behold, a sower went out to sow. : : 10 But when He was alone, those around Him with the twelve asked Him about the parable. 11 And He said to them, "To you it has been given to know the mystery of the kingdom of God;

Mark 5:30-31

30 And Jesus, immediately knowing in Himself that power had gone out of Him, turned around in the crowd and said, "Who touched My clothes?"
31 But His disciples said to Him, "You see the multitude thronging You, and You say, "Who touched Me?"'

Mark 7:14-17

14 When He had called all the multitude to Himself, He said to them, "Hear Me, everyone, and understand: 15 There is nothing that enters a man from outside which can defile him; but the things which come out of him, those are the things that defile a man. 16 If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear!"
17 When He had entered a house away from the crowd, His disciples asked Him concerning the parable.

Matt 13:10-16

10 And the disciples came and said to Him, "Why do You speak to them in parables?"
11 He answered and said to them, "Because it has been given to you to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given. 12 For whoever has, to him more will be given, and he will have abundance; but whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken away from him. 13 Therefore I speak to them in parables, because seeing they do not see, and hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand.
16 But blessed are your eyes for they see, and your ears for they hear; 17 for assuredly, I say to you that many prophets and righteous men desired to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.

Matt 13:36

36 Then Jesus sent the multitude away and went into the house. And His disciples came to Him, saying, "Explain to us the parable of the tares of the field."
They fellowshipped with Jesus. They hung out with Him in non-religious and non-church settings.

Mark 1:29-31

29 Now as soon as they had come out of the synagogue, they entered the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John. 30 But Simon's wife's mother lay sick with a fever, and they told Him about her at once. 31 So He came and took her by the hand and lifted her up, and immediately the fever left her. And she served them.

Mark 6:30-34

30 Then the apostles gathered to Jesus and told Him all things, both what they had done and what they had taught. 31 And He said to them, "Come aside by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while." For there were many coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat. 32 So they departed to a deserted place in the boat by themselves.
33 But the multitudes saw them departing, and many knew Him and ran there on foot from all the cities. They arrived before them and came together to Him. 34 And Jesus, when He came out, saw a great multitude and was moved with compassion for them..
They worshipped God with Jesus (observed Passover and sang Psalms). Mentor and mentee should be involved in worship activities together.

Matt 26:27-30

27 Then He took the cup, and gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying, "Drink from it, all of you. 28 For this is My blood of the new covenant, which is shed for many for the remission of sins. 29 But I say to you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in My Father's kingdom."
30 And when they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.
The disciples did not always understand what Jesus was trying to teach them. No matter how good of a teacher a mentor is, there will be times when their mentee simply does not understand. This happens and both sides need to make allowances for this.

Mark 8:13-21

13 And He left them, and getting into the boat again, departed to the other side. 14 Now the disciples had forgotten to take bread, and they did not have more than one loaf with them in the boat. 15 Then He charged them, saying, "Take heed, beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and the leaven of Herod."
16 And they reasoned among themselves, saying, "It is because we have no bread."
17 But Jesus, being aware of it, said to them, "Why do you reason because you have no bread? Do you not yet perceive nor understand? Is your heart still hardened?
18 Having eyes, do you not see? And having ears, do you not hear? And do you not remember? 19 When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many baskets full of fragments did you take up?" They said to Him, "Twelve."
20 "Also, when I broke the seven for the four thousand, how many large baskets full of fragments did you take up?" And they said, "Seven."
21 So He said to them, "How is it you do not understand?"

Matt 15:12-16

12 Then His disciples came and said to Him, "Do You know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?"
13 But He answered and said, "Every plant which My heavenly Father has not planted will be uprooted. 14 Let them alone. They are blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind leads the blind, both will fall into a ditch."
15 Then Peter answered and said to Him, "Explain this parable to us."
16 So Jesus said, "Are you also still without understanding?
The disciples were sometimes corrected or rebuked. Mostly the mentor will be there to encourage and teach. But there will be times when the mentor will have to bring some correction to the person they are working with. The correction does not terminate the relationship, it merely addresses (and hopefully resolves) a problem area in it or a fixes a misunderstanding on the part of the mentee.

Mark 4:37-41

37 And a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling. 38 But He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke Him and said to Him, "Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?" 39 Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, "Peace, be still!" And the wind ceased and there was a great calm. 40 But He said to them, "Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?" 41 And they feared exceedingly, and said to one another, "Who can this be, that even the wind and the sea obey Him!"

Mark 10:13-16

13 Then they brought little children to Him, that He might touch them; but the disciples rebuked those who brought them. 14 But when Jesus saw it, He was greatly displeased and said to them, "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. 15 Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it." 16 And He took them up in His arms, laid His hands on them, and blessed them.
They sometimes let Jesus down, but He did not disqualify them. There will be times when a mentee disappoints their mentor or lets them down. This is not the goal of the relationship, but it is bound to happen.

Mark 14:37-40

37 Then He came and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, "Simon, are you sleeping? Could you not watch one hour? 38 Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." 39 Again He went away and prayed, and spoke the same words. 40 And when He returned, He found them asleep again, for their eyes were heavy; and they did not know what to answer Him.
Jesus sometimes praised or encouraged His disciples. A mentor needs to give positive feedback and to encourage the ones they are training. A mentor needs to positively reinforce it when the mentee learns and correctly processes a key truth.

Matt 16:13-19

13 When Jesus came into the region of Caesarea Philippi, He asked His disciples, saying, "Who do men say that I, the Son of Man, am?"
14 So they said, "Some say John the Baptist, some Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets."
15 He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?"
16 Simon Peter answered and said, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."
17 Jesus answered and said to him, "Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven. 18 And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it. 19 And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."
The disciples were given opportunities to be "raised up" .. being allowed to do real ministry receiving an impartation of anointing. A mentor must allow some hands on training. There are times when the mentor must not over supervise so that the mentee can practice what they have been learning. The mentor should begin to try and involve the mentee in some aspects of their ministry. Also, there should be an impartation of anointing from the mentor to the person they are mentoring:

Mark 3:13-15

13 And He went up on the mountain and called to Him those He Himself wanted. And they came to Him. 14 Then He appointed twelve, that they might be with Him and that He might send them out to preach, 15 and to have power to heal sicknesses and to cast out demons:

Mark 5:35-37

35 While He was still speaking, some came from the ruler of the synagogue's house who said, "Your daughter is dead. Why trouble the Teacher any further?"
36 As soon as Jesus heard the word that was spoken, He said to the ruler of the synagogue, "Do not be afraid; only believe." 37 And He permitted no one to follow Him except Peter, James, and John the brother of James.

Matt 15:32-37

32 Now Jesus called His disciples to Himself and said, "I have compassion on the multitude, because they have now continued with Me three days and have nothing to eat. And I do not want to send them away hungry, lest they faint on the way."
33 Then His disciples said to Him, "Where could we get enough bread in the wilderness to fill such a great multitude?"
34 Jesus said to them, "How many loaves do you have?" And they said, "Seven, and a few little fish."
35 So He commanded the multitude to sit down on the ground. 36 And He took the seven loaves and the fish and gave thanks, broke them and gave them to His disciples; and the disciples gave to the multitude. 37 So they all ate and were filled, and they took up seven large baskets full of the fragments that were left.
The disciples ministered with Jesus and He debriefed with them afterwards. Debriefing is a very important part of training. It is important for the mentor to allow the mentees to debrief with them after doing ministry together. There needs to be a forum for the mentor to point out spiritual principles and for the mentee to be able to ask questions about their experiences ministering.

Mark 12:38-40 (Jesus debriefed with the disciples after being tested by scribes and Pharisees)

38 Then He said to them in His teaching, "Beware of the scribes, who desire to go around in long robes, love greetings in the marketplaces, 39 the best seats in the synagogues, and the best places at feasts, 40 who devour widows' houses, and for a pretense make long prayers. These will receive greater condemnation."

Mark 9:2-13

2 Now after six days Jesus took Peter, James, and John, and led them up on a high mountain apart by themselves; and He was transfigured before them. 3 His clothes became shining, exceedingly white, like snow, such as no launderer on earth can whiten them. 4 And Elijah appeared to them with Moses, and they were talking with Jesus. 5 Then Peter answered and said to Jesus, "Rabbi, it is good for us to be here; and let us make three tabernacles: one for You, one for Moses, and one for Elijah"-- 6 because he did not know what to say, for they were greatly afraid.
7 And a cloud came and overshadowed them; and a voice came out of the cloud, saying, "This is My beloved Son. Hear Him!" 8 Suddenly, when they had looked around, they saw no one anymore, but only Jesus with themselves.
9 Now as they came down from the mountain, He commanded them that they should tell no one the things they had seen, till the Son of Man had risen from the dead. 10 So they kept this word to themselves, questioning what the rising from the dead meant.
11 And they asked Him, saying, "Why do the scribes say that Elijah must come first?"
12 Then He answered and told them, "Indeed, Elijah is coming first and restores all things. And how is it written concerning the Son of Man, that He must suffer many things and be treated with contempt? 13 But I say to you that Elijah has also come, and they did to him whatever they wished, as it is written of him."

Mark 9:38-40

38 Now John answered Him, saying, "Teacher, we saw someone who does not follow us casting out demons in Your name, and we forbade him because he does not follow us."
39 But Jesus said, "Do not forbid him, for no one who works a miracle in My name can soon afterward speak evil of Me. 40 For he who is not against us is on our side. 41For whoever gives you a cup of water to drink in My name, because you belong to Christ, assuredly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward.

Matt 17:14-21

14 And when they had come to the multitude, a man came to Him, kneeling down to Him and saying, 15 "Lord, have mercy on my son, for he is an epileptic and suffers severely; for he often falls into the fire and often into the water. 16 So I brought him to Your disciples, but they could not cure him."
17 Then Jesus answered and said, "O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I bear with you? Bring him here to Me." 18 And Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of him; and the child was cured from that very hour.
19 Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, "Why could we not cast it out?"
20 So Jesus said to them, "Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, "Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. 21 However, this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting."

Matt 19:23-30 (Jesus debriefs a ministry situation with His disciples)

23 Then Jesus said to His disciples, "Assuredly, I say to you that it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24 And again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."
25 When His disciples heard it, they were greatly astonished, saying, "Who then can be saved?"
26 But Jesus looked at them and said to them, "With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
27 Then Peter answered and said to Him, "See, we have left all and followed You. Therefore what shall we have?"
28 So Jesus said to them, "Assuredly I say to you, that in the regeneration, when the Son of Man sits on the throne of His glory, you who have followed Me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 29 And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My name's sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life. 30 But many who are first will be last, and the last first
There was a friendship there.

John 15:15

No Longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing, but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known unto you.
They had great respect for Jesus and a deep loyalty and commitment to Him. But there were also times they were intimidated by their mentor.

Matt 26:33-35 (They were deeply committed to their mentor)

33 Peter answered and said to Him, "Even if all are made to stumble because of You, I will never be made to stumble."
34 Jesus said to him, "Assuredly, I say to you that this night, before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."
35 Peter said to Him, "Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!" And so said all the disciples.

Mark 9:31-32

31 For He taught His disciples and said to them, "The Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of men, and they will kill Him. And after He is killed, He will rise the third day."
32 But they did not understand this saying, and were afraid to ask Him.
They could count on Jesus to protect them from criticism and to support them.

Mark 2:23-28

23 Now it happened that He went through the grainfields on the Sabbath; and as they went His disciples began to pluck the heads of grain. 24 And the Pharisees said to Him, "Look, why do they do what is not lawful on the Sabbath?"
25 But He said to them, "Have you never read what David did when he was in need and hungry, he and those with him: 26 how he went into the house of God in the days of Abiathar the high priest, and ate the showbread, which is not lawful to eat except for the priests, and also gave some to those who were with him?"
27 And He said to them, "The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath. 28Therefore the Son of Man is also Lord of the Sabbath.

Matt 9:14-17

14 Then the disciples of John came to Him, saying, "Why do we and the Pharisees fast often, but Your disciples do not fast?"
15 And Jesus said to them, "Can the friends of the bridegroom mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? But the days will come when the bridegroom will be taken away from them, and then they will fast. 16 No one puts a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old garment; for the patch pulls away from the garment, and the tear is made worse. 17 Nor do they put new wine into old wineskins, or else the wineskins break, the wine is spilled, and the wineskins are ruined. But they put new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved."

Lesson 3

The Practicalities of Mentoring

Wide Variety in Mentoring

There are as many varieties of mentors as there are varieties of flowers. Let's look at some of the variety.

Let us look at different types of mentors. There are three main types. Any given mentor may not be a "pure type" they may be a hybrid of a 2 or 3 of the types. But for simplicity's sake, I am going to discuss each type separately.

First, there is the "coach". A coach comes along side of you and watches you and makes helpful suggestions. They will have a general strategy, but their approach will seem more driven by what is going on in the mentee's life than by any type of structured format. When various things come along, they become the theme of the teaching. The mentor is present to coach the mentee through these things. They watch the mentee's style and make helpful suggestions for improvement. The mentee can come to them for help, ask questions, etc.

Then there is the teacher. A teacher is someone who has knowledge and experience to impart and who prefers a systematic manner of dispensing that information. They often require some work or study on the mentee's part. The mentor's agenda often follows a set program, and may not sync up too well with the independent events going on in the mentee's life. Their teaching and impartation is structured more around their syllabus, their idea of how things should be taught, than around the mentee's life situation. This is not to say they are rigid or unpractical. Rather they have a very specific agenda of topics to cover and a preferred order for covering them.

Third, we have the mentor who "takes an apprentice." They have a very hands-on style of teaching. They will get the person involved in some manner of "doing" right from the start. It will usually be something trivial to start with so that the mentee can build up their skill sets for the more critical things. This is basically "on the job training" and the mentee is given real work to do right form the start. The mentor will observe, similar to a coach, and offer feedback and correction. The feedback tends to be very specific to the task at hand rather than general principles, and later on this mentor may show how this is a general principle. There will often times be a great deal of practice between instructions. In other words, the apprentice is given a task to do, help when they first start out and then is left to do it for a while before being given a new task.

In addition to the different types of mentors, each mentor will have their own style of teaching and imparting. Some will have you read a lot of books, or do some research on your own, before they field your questions and issues. I am reminded of John Webster. The first time I asked him for advice, he suggested a book to me to read and gave me a few sentences of general advice for the situation. We did not discuss anything more until I'd finished reading the book, then we talked about it at length. Again, about four months ago, I asked John how can I stay balanced in the Lord when I am crazy busy.. and he suggested a couple of books to me on prioritization and organizing your time. (Of course, I have not had time to read them because I was so insanely busy, so we have not had any sort of followup discussion on that.)

Some mentors teach by sharing either their own experiences; or by telling you stories about someone else in a similar situation. Jim Wies is an incredible story teller. There have been many times when I have been stuck and maybe even in a bit of a panic about something. Jim would not tell me what to do. But he would share a story about a similar situation at CI or at his church. Then he would describe what that person did and share whether the result of their action was good or bad.

Some mentors like to teach by asking you leading questions to help you figure out the answers yourself. They may help you break down a complex issue into a few underlying issues. They may help you identify the underlying premise of your thinking, and then show you other ways of looking at the same situation. They will not usually give you a single answer, they will enlighten you to many possibilities and then ask key questions to help you make the right choices on your own.

A forth mentoring style is to throw you into situations that will make you apply what you have been learning in very practical terms. I did that to Lucy once. I volunteered her to go to the hospital and pray for an acquaintance of mine's brother. The brother was dying of cancer and Lucy was sent to pray for healing. I gave her a bit of guidelines and a couple of specific things to do and turned her loose. This ended up developing into a long term ministry relationship, and she was able to lead this dying man and his sister to the Lord. She also helped him out in any number of practical ways and was a real friend to him. I was available to Lucy for advice, counsel, debriefing, etc... but I did not tell her what to do. I did help her discern and sort out the instructions God was giving her, and she did hear Him and follow His leading. This ministry experience caused Lucy to grow in certain areas and I believe it was a confidence builder for her as well.

There is one thing that all of the mentor styles have in common. No matter which style the mentor uses, the mentor's goal is to try to get their mentee to hear God for themselves on issues.

Different Degrees of Relationship

The degree of defined relationship between mentor and mentee will vary. Some relationships will be very formal and the mentor is only available to the mentee within defined parameters. Other times there will be more of a friendship between the two, and they may be frequently available to each other. Let's look briefly at six different formats/degrees of relationship between mentor and mentee.

Classes
This structure is often used by those who train a group of several people at once. The members of the group learn from them on an ongoing basis. But the group members have little contact outside of the context of the class. The class may be long or short in duration. Let me give you an example.

In seminary, C. Peter Wagner was one of my professors. His typical class was taught in an amphitheatre and had about 100 to 150 students. He was available to us in the classroom. We could raise our hands, be recognized and ask him questions. He would share his insights and wisdom with us and we would learn a great deal more than just what was on the syllabus of the class. Peter has been a very major influence on my life. But at the same time, Peter was only available to us in the classroom. We did not have his home phone number to call him and ask him questions. And once the semester was over, so was our access to Peter, unless we happened to enrol in another of his classes.
Sharing a Common Relationship
Occasionally available for advice because of another common relationship. This is often how more indepth mentoring relationships start. (That is not to say that every relationship that starts this way will develop into a more formal mentor relationship). But there are times when we have common ground with someone. Perhaps we go to the same church or we are in the same club or on the same email list. We can sometimes go to that person for advice or help because of our common relationship.

Let me give you an example. A lot of my prophetic words are circulated on the Internet. Any given week, I get 4 or 5 emails from people who I have never met before. They are always in some desperate situation that would require 5 or 6 hours of my time to help them. I won't do that for total strangers or I would be sending 30 hours per week to help five strangers and have no time to get the ministry work done. If a list member asks me for advice and it is quick, I will try to help them. If it involves a lot of time, then I need God to quicken it to my heart to give them time. If He does not quicken it, I don't spend the time. (I wish I had time to help everyone, but it is not humanly possible when you receive as many requests as I do each week). But if someone from my church comes to me for once-off type of help, I will always make the time to help them. I do this because of the common relationship we share, being part of the same local body.
Informal Mentoring Relationship
This is where an individual occasionally goes to someone with questions or for help or advice. There is an informal agreement between the two individuals that this is ok. The mentor does not take a proactive role in mentoring this person, but is available as a resource from time to time. If you are a mentee in this type of relationship, do be careful not to demand help too frequently or in too large a block of time, or the mentor will become inclined to pull away. The mentor in this type of relationship usually has a fondness for the person, but does not consider themselves in any sort of serious relationship with them. They do not consider themselves committed to helping this person grow. But they feel the person has promise and they enjoy helping out occasionally on an as-needed basis.
Contractual Mentor Relationships
These are a formal type of mentor relationship. They are usually for a specific period of time, or to work towards a specific goal. The terms of ending the relationship are usually built in to the relationship and understood and agreed on by both sides. An example of this would be a seminary "practicum" where the person, as part of their course, works on staff of a church in an unpaid position for a 6 month period. The student gets practical experience under the close supervision of an experienced individual. They receive one on one training and mentoring. The pastor gets a "free" or unpaid staff member for a six month period. It is sort of a win-win situation for both sides.
Formal Mentor
This is a formal mentoring agreement, similar to the contractual mentor relationship. However, it is not for a specific short period of time or towards a specific goal. It often results from some type of formal working relationship, such as a pastoral intern being trained by a staff member, or such as a senior pastor training a new and more junior one, etc.
Mutual Benefit Mentor Relations
This is similar to an apprenticeship, but less formal. It is where both sides benefit from the relationship. One side usually helps with practical things and the other side gives training and opportunity and helps them grow in their giftings.

This is the primary form I use when I mentor. I make myself available to those who help me out with the ministry. My staff members have the highest priority on my time, of course, and they also do the most work for the ministry. I also try to be available from time to time to the volunteers who help out by facilitating the chatrooms, etc. The neat thing I have found is that the Lord appears to do a bit of impartation to those who serve. The folks who help me with GodSpeak tend to begin to move in my anointings. And I am more available to them as a mentor. This includes things like prophetic ministry and speaking into their lives, answer questions that come up, etc. I also tend to gently push them to take on more anointing, responsibility, etc.

For instance, Paul Gaskin went from being list admin to teaching a class to becoming a member of the Prayer-School leadership core and also being on staff of the GodSpeak Ministry. In fact, Alison Bowling has gone through the same steps. And Lucy Deliganis went from captaining and "pastoring" the intercessors to being on staff as an administrator for the GodSpeak ministry to being a member of the prayer school leadership core. In other words, they all started out as helpers but grew in gifting and anointing and were given more and increased ministry responsibility and opportunity.

My heart is to raise them and help them grow in their gifting and anointing as they help with the ministry and serve. I also enjoy seeing an impartation of my anointing and giftings begin to operate in their lives. It is kind of a win win situation for everyone. They help me run the ministry and I help them grow in gifting and anointing and I give them increased responsibility as they grow.

Wrap Up

Now that we have explored the topic of mentoring, let's bring it back to prayer and intercession. No matter where you are in your walk with the Lord, and in your ability to move effectively in intercession, the Lord would like you to grow in it even more. There will be times when He will bring along people who He has appointed to help you through certain growth stages. They may have a different mentoring style than you expect. Do not let your expectations of what a mentor "should be like" keep you from learning from the person God has appointed to teach you for a season. Recognize that there are many different types of mentors and many different styles of mentoring they may use. Be flexible and try to gain as much as you can from the ones God sends to teach you.

Also, no matter how much of a beginner you may feel like, there is probably someone who is more of a beginner in it than you are. Don't be surprised if God pairs you up with them for a season and asks you to help them grow a bit. You may only be one step ahead of them. But if you will reach out and extend your hand to them and help them come up to where you are, you will find that God will also cause you to grow some more in the process. This seems to be one of the principles of God's economy, the more you "give it away,' the more He gives it to you. Isn't there a verse in the bible that says, "Freely you have received, so give freely"? This applies to mentoring and growing in your giftings/anointing as well.

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Mentors and Mentoring

by Teresa Seputis