I was convinced that God had no intention of using me last night. In fact, I was seriously considering not even praying for people. My husband was leaving for a business trip and needed to be dropped off at the airport around 10:15 PM. The logistics worked out for him to drop me off in the morning at the BART station and I'd walk the 2 miles from work to Church. Then he could pick up up about 10:00 PM in front of the Church, and I'd drop him off at the airport. As it turned out, I got off work early and got to Church about three hours before the renewal service was to start. I spent most of that time just haning around and socializing. I thought about going off by myself to interceed for the meeting, but never quite got around to doing so.
I showed up for preprayer at 6:45, and no one was there. So I set up the room and then went and chatted with one of the pastors. We finally started praying about 7:00 PM. I could feel a very faint sense of the Lord's presense, but nothing to write about. We interceeded for about 20 minutes and then started praying for each other. I felt so empty that I just sat there and waited on the Lord. A couple of people came and prayed for me, but not much seemed to be happening. I remember being sort of disappointed that the Lord was not touching me more.
After prayer, we went downstairs for the service. I went to Bill (the pastor running the meeting) and asked him if he wanted me to put the offering in his office after it was taken, since Joyce was not here to take care of it. He said that he was not going to take an offering tonight -- that God had spoken to him about the meeting and that there were only two things on the agenda -- worship and ministry prayer. That sounded sort of neat to me.
When the worship first started, I was restless and could not get into it. I went and stood in the back of the room, trying to worship and wait on the Lord. After about 15 minutes, I felt like He spoke to me to release Claire to pray this evening. Claire is about 10 or 11 and is the daughter of one of our pastors. She is very mature spiritually, more so than some adults in our congregation. But we've never had children on the ministry team before, released to pray for adults. Anyhow, Debbie was the acting captian last night. So I went and asked her if it was OK for Claire to pray. She said yes and gave me a minstry team tag for Claire. Then I went over to Claire and asked her how she felt about praying on the ministry team this evening. She did not even seem mildly surprised to be asked -- even though this is the first time EVER that we have had invited a child to be on the ministry team. I think that maybe the Lord had been speaking to her. She said that she felt very good about the idea. I told her that she would be released to pray for whoever the Lord led her to pray for, even adult men and women. She should not feel like she should only pray for children. She said that was good because there were not very many children here tonight.
Then I felt like I was supposed to pray for Claire for God's anointing to be on her to minister. Remember that I felt absolutely no anointing on myself at this time. Anyhow, I asked Claire if I could pray briefly for her -- worship was still going on. She said yes. I invited the Lord to come and anoint her. God feel on Claire with a great deal of power and she started shaking a lot. I could feel His power flowing through me as I prayed for her and anointed and released her to minister. It felt really good to see God powerfully touching Claire as I prayed for her -- I still was not all that convinced that He wanted to use me that evening.
After I finished praying for Claire, I went to the back of the room and waited on the Lord. I had a strong impression of the verse "...and a little child shall lead them..." I found myself ferverently praying that God would move powerfully through Claire tonight -- even if He did not move through anyone else. I felt that somehow it was very much in God's plan to release children to pray for adults. Before I knew it, I was lost in intercession and then in worship. I could feel the Lord's presense on me and I began shaking fairly strongly. I remembered being glad that I was standing way at the back of the room, behind everyone. So I knew that no one was looking at me and that I was not distracting anyone from worship. Then I became so lost in His presense that I was not aware of much else. It felt so good to be under His touch again.
(Our main sanctuary holds up to 1000 and we have maybe 650 chairs set up in there right now. We only have 70-100 people at renewal services. So we rope off half of the sanctuary for the renewal meetings, so that the people won't be quite as spread out.)
I felt impressed to go lay down on the floor. I decided this would be less attrusive if I did so over in the roped off section where no one was sitting. So I walked over to an asile in the roped off section and kneeled down. A few moments later, I laid down. Worship had been going on well over an hour by this point. I laid down and invited the Lord to come touch me any way that He wanted to. It was just like someone had just prayed for me. God's presense and power were all over me. I could feel His power pulsing through me and His sweetness surrounding me. I knew I was shaking a lot, but it did not matter because I was isolated and could not possibly be disturbing anyone. God ministered to me just like He does to people during ministry time. His goodness was all over me. I could sense Him smiling at me and He said, "and you thought I was not going to touch you tonight..."
I started thanking Him for His good touch AND I told Him that I was available if He wanted to use me tonight. In fact, I told Him, I'd really like to be used. But I told Him that I would not do anything unless He was doing it, and that I really hoped He would choose to do something through me. Anyhow, I was available. But if He just wanted to minister to me and not use me, that was OK too.
It's amazing how OK things seem when the Lord is surrounding you with His Love and His power. It is such a nice place to be. I remember telling Him that I wished we could do this forever. He replied, "that's the general idea of heaven ... total awareness of My presense and My love and My power on you... The chance to continuously behold my unveiled glory and to linger in My presense..." That sounded very good to me. I was down about 20 minutes.
After that, Bill took the microphone, and started praying over the group. It was a rather deep prayer, giving God lordship of various areas of our lives. It was a time of corporate surrender to God.
Then Bill opened up the ministry time; those who wanted us to lay hands on them and pray for them were welcome to come forward. Of the 75+ people present, over 60 of them came up. We only had six ministry team people that night, including Claire. Bill was also praying for people.
I did not have a catcher at first, so I sort of hung back and waited for one -- but no one came and offered. So I decided to just go ahead and start praying. The Lord had focused my eyes on this one lady and showed me that He was pouring out His blessings and grace on her. I started blessing what the Lord showed me that He was doing and His spirit was all over her. I stood there with one hand on her back and the other on her chest, just inviting the Lord to come and give her more. She started to go down, and someone moved in to catch her. Then that person offered to catch as I prayed for others.
The Lord's presense was so strong and it was so easy to minister to people. There was a continuous flow of words of knowledge and of God's presense and power. It was totally effortless because He was doing it all. He was also moving so fast -- I don't think it took Him longer than 2 minutes to totally overwhelm and touch any one person I prayed for, and many of them look less than one minute. God was coming and touching His people and it was such a treat to be used by Him in this way. I remember silently praying over and over -- "Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!"
On some people God was doing a deep inner healing. There were a few who He was just blessing. There was one lady who God was just pouring His life into her and it was reflecting on her as Joy. There were a couple who God was empowering. I found myself praying for three people to be released into His authority and signs and wonders and proclaiming His word. It was just so easy to see in the spirit and discern what He was doing; and it was totally effortless to do it with Him.
What a contrast -- earlier that evening I had felt totally passed by and out of it; completely unusable. Yet God was using me and it was making it so very easy to be used. He was doing it all, I was just along for the ride. It was absolutely wonderful!
Last Friday, God had not given me hardly any words of knowledge, so my prayers had been mostly of the "more Lord" and "fill Him up, Lord" variety. But tonight it was as though the Lord gave me a mirror to see into each person's spirit. And He seemed so egar to touch and bless and release His people. I felt led to continue going back to this group of about 8 unrealted people who happened to be laying near each other on the floor and to continue soaking them in prayer. I'd stay with one for a minute or two, and then go on to the next, and so on. God showed up powerfuly each time. Sometimes there were physical manifestations -- shaking, crying, laughing, etc. Sometimes there were not. But I did not need manifestations to see what He was doing in each one -- the Holy Spirit just made it so obvious to me. In addition to the clairity, I also felt a great love for each person and felt delight that the Lord was coming so wonderfully and that He was using me as one of His vessels. It was literally a blast to pray for people tonight.
I noticed that the people I'd prayed for were still all down -- all exept for one. Some of them had been down for about 50 minutes now. God seemed to be doing wonderful things in them. God is SO good!!!
Then Claire came and got me to help her pray for this one lady. It turned out that Claire's father, one of our pastors, had told her to get me. He wanted me to pray for a lady He'd been working with who I'd never met before. She did not speak and English. Her son-in-law was going to act as interpreter, but he did not end up translating anything. Claire and I started praying for her. Sometimes I'd rest my hand lightly on her chest and sometimes I'd hold my hand above her forehead, not touching her. I kept getting words of knowledge for her as I'd pray. Even though I knew she could not understand a word I was saying, I prayed those words over her. She seemed to respond in exactly the same fashion I'd expect to her react in if she could understand the prayers and was responding to accurate words of knowledge. The Lord was on her fairly powerfully and she shook some -- no one ever suggested anything to her, because she does not speak any English. I am not sure if she had anyunderstanding about renewal style prayer, but she certainly seemed to be receiving from the Lord. The God told me that she'd been the victum of unjust hardship and that He was going to soak the damaged ground with His love to make it fertile again. I started praying for Him to soak her in His love and then she started crying. I am not sure which was more remarkable, getting all these words on how to pray for her, or watching her respond to them when I knew she could not understand what I was saying. I am sure that if anyone was watching this particular prayer session, they would have never guess that she did not understand what was being prayed over her. This made me feel even more confident in the Lord -- here was a woman who was not prone to suggestions because she could not even understand the language. Yet God was touching her and doing a deep work in her and she was receiving from His hand. There is no way that anyone but God can get the glory for this one. Isn't He wonderful!!!
Anyhow, after I was done praying for her, I asked Claire's dad about some of what the Lord had shown me while I was praying for her. He said that it was very accurate. Oh the grace of God!
Then, it was time to go outside and meet my hubby. On the way out, I passed a lady who I did not know. She was standing talking to two others, who I also did not know. The Lord was on her very strongly and He told me to go bless her. So I walked up to her and asked if it was OK to bless her and she said yes. I put my hand on her and asked the Lord to come bless her -- it was like she was hit by 1000 volts of electricity. She started pogoing up and down, shaking, laughing, groaning, the whole nine yards -- and we weren't even in a formal ministry situation. I could feel God's power pulsing into her so strongly that it almost knocked me down. I wished I could have stayed and blessed her longer, but I had to get outside to meet my husband.
After I dropped Ed off at the airport, I had a 45 minute drive home. My hands continued to tingle the whole way home. I was still aware of the Lord's presense on me, tought not as powerfully as during the ministry time. In the car, I felt like the Lord was telling me to get on IRC when I got home, that He had a prophesy for me. I thought He meant that He would have someone from IRC prophesy to me. But when I got on, they were just starting to pray. We did some general prayer and then started praying for one person who was feeling sick. As we prayed for her, the Lord seemed to be showing me a lot of things to pray for her, and He seemed to touch her rather powerfully. He choose to deal more with an inner healing type issue than with physically healing, but His grace was all over her. After prayer, she started sharing what God had been doing for her -- God was freeing her from a performance orientation into His perfect liberty -- it was fun to hear what good things God was doing in her life both through the renewal and as we all prayed for her on IRC. Anyhow, I eventually signed off IRC and went to bed.
The Lord continued to visit me in bed, and I started shaking again. It was just like being back in the renewal meeting during worship. In fact, I could hear the worship music playing in the background -- expecpt that I did not have any tapes or CDs or radios, etc on. Yet I could literally hear the worship music as the Lord met me on my bed. I thoroughly enjoyed His presense and His touch. He reviewed many of the events of the evening and told me that He was pleased. He was especailly pleased that I had been obedient to release Claire (a child) to minister tonight. He said that He was going to use me to release many people into ministry. At first that sounded sort of scary -- more responsibility than I was sure I wanted. He told me not to worry about it; that He decides who He is releasing and shows me and I only have to do along with Him what He is already doing. This sounds like it might be lots of fun...
Anyhow, during the prayer time, I remembered that God had told me that He had a prophesy for me on IRC, yet no one gave one to me. I mentioned this to the Lord. He said that He had used to to minister prophetically (in prayer) to this sister we'd prayed for -- that having a prophesy for me meant that He had one for me to give rather than someone giving one to me. Interesting. I need to learn not to make assumptions about what God means when He tells me something.
I woke up this morning still aware of His presense on me. I had a wonderful time of prayer and devotions this morning, much richer than I've been experiencing these past two weeks. I also found that I was inteceeding this morning for those people who I'd ministered to last night. It was like I could still see their faces before me and still see into their spirits. It was so effortless to ask God to come and continue in each of them what He'd started the night before. This was significant for me to find myself interceeding the next morning for the people I'd prayed for the night before. I don't think I've done that since about the first month I'd been involved in ministering in a renewal setting. Usually I minister to whoever God has me pray for and then I forget them. But not this time. It seems that the Lord is making a closer tie between intercession and ministry. It will be interesting to see how the Lord develops this.
It's about 10:30 AM now and I'm looking forward to what the Lord intends to do with the rest of this day...
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