Sometimes God comes to us in His manifest glory and speaks to us with a voice of thunder, like He did when He asked the children of Israel to enter into a covenant with Him. We find that story in Exodus 19:16-19:
16 Then it came to pass on the third day, in the morning, that there were thunderings and lightnings, and a thick cloud on the mountain; and the sound of the trumpet was very loud, so that all the people who were in the camp trembled. 17 And Moses brought the people out of the camp to meet with God, and they stood at the foot of the mountain. 18 Now Mount Sinai was completely in smoke, because the Lord descended upon it in fire. Its smoke ascended like the smoke of a furnace, and the whole mountain quaked greatly. 19 And when the blast of the trumpet sounded long and became louder and louder, Moses spoke, and God answered him by voice.
Basically, God showed up with power and glory, and with other tangible manifestations of His nearness. The earth shook and there was thunder and lightening and thick smoke, and it must have been very scary. Then when He spoke, His voice was not only audible, it was so loud that each of the many thousand people gathered around the mountain all heard His voice with their own ears. It was loud and clear and very distinct. Every person there knew that God was speaking to them and they had no doubt about what He was saying.
There are times when God's voice is clear and distinct like that, but it doesn't happen that often. This is NOT God's usual way to communicate with His people, because people tend to get really scared when God shows up in His power and glory. Look at the people of Israel's terrified reaction to God's speaking to them in Exodus 20:18-19:
18 Now all the people witnessed the thunderings, the lightning flashes, the sound of the trumpet, and the mountain smoking; and when the people saw it, they trembled and stood afar off. 19 Then they said to Moses, "You speak with us, and we will hear; but let not God speak with us, lest we die."
The truth is that God's unveiled glory is overwhelming and the sense of His holiness is very terrifying. In fact, our human bodies are not able to withstand a direct face-to-face encounter with Him. We know that because there was a time when Moses asked God to show him His glory, and God told him, "You cannot see My face; for no man shall see Me, and live" (Exodus 33:20).
Why would God say something like that?
God loves us and He doesn't want to terrify us when He interacts with us. He had that consideration for Moses, who probably walked closer to God than most of us will ever will. God knew that if He showed Moses His unveiled glory, Moses would die of terror. Now, Moses dying before his time would not present a big problem for God, because He could easily raise Moses from the dead. It would have been possible for Him to grant Moses' request and show him His face, let him die of terror and then raise him from the dead. But God did not want to terrify Moses in that manner because He loved him to much to scare him like that.
God loves each of us in the same way, and He doesn't want to terrify us either. That is why He masks a large portion of His glory and of His manifest presence when He interacts with us.
Personally, I didn't want Him to do that. I loved Him and I was hungry for His presence, and I wanted to see Him with my own two eyes. I used to think that we (modern day believers) were getting the raw end of a deal that the children of Israel made with God in Exodus 20:20 when they asked that God not speak to them directly anymore. I used to think that I'd rather see God's unveiled glory, and if it struck me dead before my time, so what? God could just raise me from the dead so that I could keep serving Him. So I asked God to show me His glory, like He did for Moses, except that I also wanted to see His face.
God responded, "How about if I just show you one tiny piece of My glory instead? What if I show you a little bit of My unveiled holiness?"
I thought that would be a great way to get started, and I was eager for Him to do that for me. But when He actually did it, I experienced such terror that I had a complete change of heart.
God started small with me, being much more gentle than I asked Him to. He showed up in my prayer room one day. The room doubled as a guest bedroom, and I was kneeling by the guest bed and praying. Suddenly the room was flooded with a very bright light and there was this sense of His presence all over the room. It wasn't at all like I expected it to be. I became very aware of His holiness and, by comparison, of my own lack thereof. (It is easy to think we are walking in holiness when we compare ourselves to others...but when we compare ourselves to God, we become painfully aware of our inadequacies in that area.)
I had expected to be wrapped in His amazing love and to have a wonderful encounter with God. But instead I became increasingly aware of my sin in comparison to His perfect holiness, and I was scared out of my wits. It is hard to describe the terror that came over me. I literally jumped up, opened the door and ran out of the room.
The Holy Spirit asked me why I was running away. I did not want to-- at least my mind did not want to. I wanted to be near God so badly. But I was so overwhelmed with my own carnal sinful nature that I could not endure the very thing I had begged God to give to me. God's holiness is hard to describe when you haven't experienced it directly. It gave me a whole new understanding of the phrase, "The fear of the Lord." I used to think that phrase had to do with respect, not with actual fear. But I changed my mind when I experienced the actual holy terror of His perfection in my weak and carnal physical body.
The truth is that God can be scary. If He wanted to, He could just unmask some of that glory in our church services, and terrify us into a higher level obedience. But He doesn't want the type of obedience that comes out of fear--He wants the type of obedience that comes out of a love relationship. He wants us to obey Him because we love Him (John 14:15), not because we are afraid of His holiness. So He masks a lot of His holiness and a lot of His glory from us. And instead of showing up physically in our prayer room to speak audibly to us, He usually speaks to us in more subtle ways.
The reason He does that is so that He won't terrify us.
There are times when He gives lifts the veil and gives us brief glimpses of His glory.
After I recovered from my earlier encounter with His holiness, I began to seek Him on that again. Only this time I prayed that God would send an angel to hold me and prevent me from running away when He showed up. To my surprise, God answered that prayer a few months later.
I will tell you about it in our next lesson.
Lifting The Corner Of The Veil
In our last lesson, I talked about how God masks His presence and His glory from us because He doesn't want to terrify us. I shared a brief encounter I had with God where He showed me a bit of His holiness, and I became so terrified that I ran out of the room. After I calmed down, I was really frustrated at myself for running away from God's presence.
But I remained hungry for God and kept pleading with Him to show Me His glory again. I also asked Him to send and angel this time to hold me and keep me from running away when He came. I prayed that prayer on a daily basis for several months, and then God answered my prayer.
I experienced such terror in the presence of His manifest holiness that I literally turned into a non-functional blubbering idiot. I would have collapsed to a heap on the floor if the angel had not been holding me up. I had wanted to talk to God and interact with Him and tell Him how much I loved Him, but I couldn't. All I could do was to keep pleading the blood of Jesus to cover me, and I was pretty sure that I was not going to survive this experience.
My heart was beating faster than I'd ever experienced before and I having so much trouble breathing that my lungs felt like they were going to explode. I was aware that my body might be dying, but the thing that scared me was my awareness of my own sin and shortcomings. I did not want to face a God in that state because I was painfully aware of just how holy He was and of how much I'd let Him down. To say it was scary would be a huge understatement.
God was gracious to me and did not keep me in that state for very long. God remained with me and the angel kept holding me, but it was like He "dialed down" His holiness and turned up His goodness. He flooded me with a sense of His love and acceptance. I am pretty sure that He told me not to be afraid, like Jesus did to John in the book of Revelation. But I can't be 100 percent positive of that because that experience was so overwhelming, and not all of the details are clear in my memory.
I was so relieved that He "dialed down" the level of His manifest holiness and I began thanking Him for doing that. Then He told me that what I'd experienced was just the very tiniest measure of His holiness, substantially less than what Moses experienced his encounters with God. Then He said, "If you think that was scary, then try to imagine how terrifying it would have been for you if I really did show you My face like you asked Me to."
God went on to explain that He was not hiding Himself from me because He did not what me to know Him better. He said that it was because in my sinful carnal body, I just could not take seeing and knowing Him for Who He truly was. That was why He masked the vast majority of His glory from Me when He interacted with me. Then He explained that this wasn't just for me personally, but that He masked His glory for all of His children. However, the more we cooperate with the Holy Spirit to be conformed into His image and to have our natures transformed, then He can reveal a bit more of Himself to us.
Shortly after that, He gave me this word. For years, I treasured it as a private word to me and I never dreamed I'd share it with anyone. But the Lord is instructing me to share it in this lesson, because this word will also apply to many of you who are hungry to see more of His glory. And for those of you who haven't acquired that hunger yet, perhaps this will help you know what to expect when you do grow into it...
I am about to draw you into a greater depth of intimacy than you have ever walked in before, where you will come to better know Me as I really am.This will be a frightening time for you, for it is a fearsome thing to come before the very presence of almighty God. Child, know that your sins are forgiven. When you stand before Me and taste of My holiness, you will be overwhelmed with your own sin. Know that each and every sin is under the blood of the lamb and is forgiven and cleansed.
You are going to find that My presence, which you have so desired, is not at all like you expect it to be. It will truly be terrifying for you...but at the same time it will be a time of awe for you. Child, you will go back and revisit these encounters in your mind and you will want to kick yourself for having what you consider inappropriate responses. Do not feel ashamed when this occurs, for I say unto you that it is not possible to come before the presence of the living God and not be totally overwhelmed.
The very fact that I will allow you into My presence in your earthly body is a great honor child, one reserved for those whose hearts are pure before Me. And yet, when you stand before Me, you will be aware of every imperfection and every impurity. And child, you will be horrified with how you will see yourself.
Know in advance that I am not horrified with you. Child, your heart is after Me and it pleases Me. You have been seeing Me through a very thick cloud, through a veil. I am about to lift the corner of that veil and give you a glimpse of My glory. You will not be able to handle it; no human being can. You will be so frightened that you will want to run away from Me. But fear not, I am going to prevent you from doing that; for if you did, you would "kick yourself" over that behavior for a very long time. You will be so terrified and overwhelmed with My glory and My holiness that you will not be able to think clearly.
You have experienced this Fear of The Lord before. You have told yourself that it would be different next time, because the Holy Spirit has so transformed your nature. Well, child of Mine, I am about to manifest Myself to you at a higher level, with greater clarity and greater intensity, and you will find it just as overwhelming as the previous time. Do not be frightened of making inappropriate responses...child, it will not be possible for you to respond to Me in a manner that you consider appropriate, for you will not be in control at all. I will be in control.
You will find that I am good and I am loving and I am full of mercy and grace. At the same time, child, you will find that I am truthful and I am realistic. I am going to examine some areas of your life where you will not measure up. But fear not, I am not coming to condemn you, but to reveal and then to transform. Child, you will feel very small in My manifest presence But know this, I am with you and I am for you and I will cause you to be changed and transformed.
You have told Me that you want to be My friend, to see Me face- to-face. Your heart has longed for this and you have cried out to Me for it. Child, I am granting it to you in a small measure, but you will find that face-to-face I am a very formidable God. You will not be able to stand before Me. Fear not, for I will hold you in the palm of My hand and I will cover you with My wings. Child, the terror that will come upon you will not be to separate you from Me, but to draw you closer.
I am telling this to you now, so that when you have stood before Me and felt the intensity of My holiness and the fire of My presence, you will know that I am pleased with you and that I am going to take you farther in Me than you have ever gone before. I love you child, and you are a cause of great delight to Me.
Sinful humans cannot stand in My presence And yet, as I allow you before Me, you will be transformed by My glory until you become the person who I have destined you to be. I am going to work a true humility in you, a humility that will not resist My call and My destiny on your life. I am going to give you eyes to see and ears to hear at a level that you have never moved at before. I am going to break the fetters of unbelief off of you and I am going to give you a gift of faith that will move mountains I am going to allow you to come to an intimacy with Me that you have never experienced before.
See, child of Mine, My plans for you are good and I am pleased with you. Do not allow fear to overcome you, remind yourself of My character and of My nature and of My faithfulness. I am faithful to fulfill the promises that I have made to you, every one of them.