A lot of people have sent me emails with what boils down to the same question. It has to do with confidence in one's own ability to prophesy.
The gist of the problem is that they love the Lord and want to obey God and speak what He gives them. But they are not 100% sure that what they heard was really God and they don't want to put words in God's mouth or speak something He is not saying. In short, they feel a call of God over them to prophesy, but they don't have confidence in their own hearing, and they are not positive that God desires to speak through them.
When they think they hear God speak, they are not sure that it was really God. They suspect it probably was, and they want to obey Him and speak forth what He is saying, but they are not 100% sure it was really God. In fact, they are not even sure that God has chosen them to speak on His behalf. In short, they are not confident in their calling.
When a prophetic person is plagued with these type of doubt, one of two things will usually happen to them. They might go ahead and take the "risk" and speak the word. But if they do, they often go away agonizing over whether or not what they said was really God. Or they might "hold the word" (not speak it). But if they do, then they go away and mentally "beat themselves up" for not speaking what God gave them to say. It feels to them that they get it wrong no matter what they do.
It is difficult for those with a true prophetic gift to prophesy when they are not sure that God is really speaking through them, and it creates doubt in their calling/gifting. Lack of confidence makes a person feel like they are walking on a tightrope, trying to find a difficult balance between two extremes. On one hand, they don't want to misrepresent God and say something that He is not saying. But on the other hand, they don't want to disobey God by not speaking what He gives them to say. It is scary for a prophetic person to move in their gifting before they have developed confidence in their calling. Unfortunately, most of us cannot develop this confidence until we have had some experience moving in the gifting. That makes it really tough to start out.
Those of us who have been doing this for a while can forget just how difficult it was to start. We remember that we struggled with it; but once we step into the place of confidence in our calling, we forget just how nasty the struggle was for us before we got there. Personally, I struggled with confidence for a long time--well over a year. But that was ten years ago. Back then, I thought I'd never overcome it, but now I know with an assuredness that God has called me as one of His spokespersons. I forgot what it felt like when I first started out, but the Lord used an interesting thing to remind me of it.
I was cleaning out a cabinet and came across a box of old prophesy tapes (where other people gave words to me). Of course, I started to listen to them. One of the tapes turned out to be a discussion with a mentor. I was amazed as I listened to it, because I could hear my own voice expressing a struggle of confidence that I haven't experienced for a very long time. Let me give you the gist of the discussion.
I had been unable to sleep, so I got on the computer in the wee hours of the morning and went into a Christian chatroom. Shortly after I arrived, a lady came in who I had not talked to in a couple of years. I barely remembered her, but she remembered me and she greeted me in a private chat, then she abruptly left the room. We could still talk in private chat, so I asked her why she left so quickly. She replied, "Christians don't like me in their rooms." That sounded like an odd thing for her to say because I was thought she was a Christian.
I began to ask God about it and I tried to remember everything I could about her. She used to be active in a Christian chatroom, but she suddenly left her husband and two children and moved to Canada. That was when I lost touch with her. Suddenly I realized that she must have fallen into the homosexual lifestyle and was ashamed to be around believers. So I asked her about it and she admitted that was what happened. She assumed I'd be offended at her and refuse to talk to her. I told her, "Why would I do that?" and then began to share with her things that God put on my heart.
I seemed to suddenly have all this information about her. I had no idea how much of it was from memory and how much was from divine revelation; But I knew for sure that God wanted her to know that He still loved her and He wanted her back. At one point in the conversation, I asked her if she knew what a prophet was. She said no. So I told her a prophet is someone who speaks for God and then I told her that I was speaking to her prophetically. I began to tell her how God knew all about her and He loved her. I shared all these details with her that were floating around my mind and she was amazed at the level of detail that God knew about her. (Honestly, I did not know how much was from memories coming back and how much was divine revelation.) I claimed to be speaking for God, and I told her that God wanted her back. He would receive her where she was, but He would begin to make changes in her and He would eventually require her to live in holiness, that he would help her change from the inside out. Then I invited her to come back to the Lord--and she did. She repented and received the Lord.
It just all flowed and I did not think about it while it was going on. When I first got off the computer, I was very excited about what God had done, and I was happy that He woke me up at 2:00 AM to be a part of it. But shortly after that, the doubt settled in. I realized that I claimed to be speaking for God--only I wasn't sure that the words I'd shared with her had been His and not my own. I think the devil was playing mind games with me, but I began to get really worried that maybe I had just operated as a false prophet. Maybe I claimed to be speaking for God when He wasn't speaking through me. I agonized over it for days. I was so worried about it that I called a mentor and discussed the situation with her. And for some reason, I'd tape recorded that call.
The mentor assured me that I was speaking God's heart, so what I said was ok. She said that it did not matter if God gave me divine revelation or if He recalled things to my memory, I was still communicating His message. He was leading me in the discussion and I had evidence of that because the Holy Spirit worked in the backslidden lady's heart and brought her back to God. But I was still worried because I claimed to speak as a prophetically during that discussion. Did I have a right to do that? Was God mad at me? The mentor assured me that was not the case twice, but at the end of the conversation I remained unconvinced that it was ok to have claimed that I was speaking prophetically.
It is easy to look back now and see that He wasn't mad. It is clear that He was working with me (and through me) to reach this lady. But the difference is that now I have a confidence and assuredness that God has put His words in my mouth, and that He has commissioned me to speak on His behalf. But I did not have that assuredness when I first began to move in the prophetic, and it was very difficult (and scary) for me.
Some of you can relate to my story, because that is where you right now in terms of confidence. It is actually pretty normal to feel low in confidence when you first start serving God in a new area. That even happened to some of the "greats" in the bible.
Moses started off with no confidence at all. He had once been a very cocky man, raised as grandson to the Pharaoh and as a prince of Egypt. He had assumed that his people would receive him as a leader and follow him without question. He even crusaded on their behalf them by murdering an Egyptian who was abusing his Hebrew slave. That act caused him to run from the law and become a fugitive. He fled Egypt to Median and became a shepherd, which was a profession that Egyptians detested. Moses become a broken man and his sense of destiny and self-esteem were shot. Then God visited him in Exodus 3, to commission him. Moses' first response was to try and disqualify himself (Exodus 4:10). "Moses said to the Lord, 'O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since You have spoken to Your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue'" (NIV).
God's response is basically, "Don't worry about your qualifications, I am the One Who qualifies you, and I will help you do it well. But Moses came back with, "O Lord, please send someone else to do it" (verse 13).
Moses is a great example of someone who God called and chose, but who was not confident in his calling--especially in the early days of his ministry. Yet, Moses is one of God's greats. He is listed as one of the ten heroes of the faith in Hebrews chapter 11.
Gideon is another person who struggled with confidence when God first called him. We see his initial commission in Judges 6:11-12:
11 Now the Angel of the Lord came and sat under the terebinth tree which was in Ophrah, which belonged to Joash the Abiezrite, while his son Gideon threshed wheat in the winepress, in order to hide it from the Midianites. 12 And the Angel of the Lord appeared to him, and said to him, 'The Lord is with you, you mighty man of valor'. (NIV)
Gideon did not feel like a mighty man of valor. He was hiding from the Midianites when the angel sought him out, and most people don't consider it and act of valor to hide from your enemies. But God doesn't use the same criteria to evaluate us that we use to evaluate ourselves. Gideon did not think the was of the caliber that God might commission him, and at first he had real trouble accepting his divine commission. Look at Judges 6:15: "O my Lord, how can I save Israel? Indeed my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father's house" (NIV). God went on to reassure Gideon that he was called and chosen in verses 13 to 24. Then God gave him a task in verses 25-26, "Take your father's young bull, the second bull of seven years old, and tear down the altar of Baal that your father has, and cut down the wooden image that is beside it; 26 and build an altar to the Lord your God on top of this rock in the proper arrangement, and take the second bull and offer a burnt sacrifice with the wood of the image which you shall cut down" (NIV).
Gideon obeyed God, but he did it with a total lack of confidence. Look at verse 27: "So Gideon took ten men from among his servants and did as the Lord had said to him. But because he feared his father's household and the men of the city too much to do it by day, he did it by night" (NIV).
It is not unusual to be low in confidence when you first start to operate in your calling. So how do you overcome it? How do you gain confidence that God has chosen you and that He will move through you?
Last week we started to talk about confidence, and how important that is for ministering in the prophetic. We discovered that it is fairly normal for those newer to the prophetic to struggle with confidence. In fact, we discovered a "bootstrap" problem: It is scary for a prophetic person to move in their gifting before they have developed confidence in their calling; but unfortunately, most of us cannot develop this confidence until we have had some experience moving in the gifting. That can make it uncomfortable to get started in the prophetic.
So, how do we overcome this bootstrap problem and get started? How do we step out in faith and prophesy if we are not sure that God has really selected us as one of His spokespeople?
First, we have to be aware that prophesy is a spiritual gift that God gives to His body, and He doesn't give it to everyone. There may be people who try to prophesy when God has not called them to do it. Those people will never be able to build "confidence in their calling" in the prophetic because they are not called to the prophetic.
On the other hand, we don't want to disqualify anyone sincerely desiring to prophesy, because there are verses that indicate that if we ask God for something, He just might give it to us. Look at Matthew 7:7-11:
7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.9 "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him! {NIV)
1 Corinthians 14:39 tells us "Desire earnestly to prophesy," and Matthew 7:7 tells us "ask and you will receive." So my own personal theory is that if you earnestly ask God for the gift of prophecy, He will probably give it to you. In fact, that is how I got it. He asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I told Him I wanted the gift of prophecy--and He gave it to me. Chances are that if you have an earnest desire and passion for the prophetic, God will probably give it to you if are persistent about asking Him for it. (Of course, that assumes that you have good motive for asking. If it is for some unholy reason like gaining status or selling words for financial gain, you probably won't get very far with your request.)
But if you have a sincere passionate desire for the prophetic, chances are that God will probably allow you to become one of His spokespeople. The only ones who can develop a true confidence for moving in the prophetic are those who God has chosen to speak for Him. E.g., you can't build confidence to move in a spiritual gift that you don't possess. But you probably can get the gift if you ask God for it.
For the rest of this discussion, let's assume that the Lord has given you a prophetic ability.
It is normal to be tentative when you first start operating in it. There are people who say that if you have a true prophetic gift, the confidence and expertise comes with the gift and you don't have to go through a learning curve. Personally, I think that is hogwash. Some of the great prophets of the Old Testament started out tentative and God helped them grow in their gifting. The prophet Samuel was one of them. He was called of God from the moment of his conception, and God used Samuel to lead Israel and to establish two kings.
But when Samuel first started out in the prophetic, he did not even know how to recognize God's voice or how to respond to Him. The first three times that God tried to talk to Samuel, he missed it altogether. Then he got some advice from Eli. So the fourth time that God showed up, Samuel invited Him to speak, and He gave Samuel a prophetic word.
At this point, Samuel knew that God had spoken to him--he heard God's voice audibly and Eli told him it was God. You would think that would have given him confidence to prophesy what God had said to him. But that was not the case. 1 Samuel 3:15 tells us, "Samuel ... was afraid to tell Eli the vision."
Samuel knew he had a word from God, but he was not convinced that he had authority to speak forth at word. Eli had to coax it out of him. Look at verses 16 to 17: "But Eli called him and said, 'Samuel, my son.' Samuel answered, 'Here I am.' 17 'What was it he said to you?' Eli asked. 'Do not hide it from me. May God deal with you, be it ever so severely, if you hide from me anything he told you.'"
The passage tell us that Samuel knew what his prophetic message was, but he was afraid to speak it forth. Does that sound familiar? This passage tells us another very important detail in verse 19. It says, "So Samuel grew, and the Lord was with him and let none of his words fall to the ground." In other words, Samuel grew in both is prophetic ability and is his confidence. As he grew, he became a confident leader and judge of Israel. By chapter 7, we see him calling on the people to forsake their idols and serve only God, and they obey him.
When Samuel got old, he allowed his sons to judge in his place. Sadly, his sons did not do a very good (or fair) job, so the people asked Samuel for a king. By then, Samuel is so confident in his prophetic ability and the call/commission of God on his life, that he was offended. Look at what he says to them in 1 Samuel 12:3-5:
3 "Here I am. Witness against me before the Lord and before His anointed: Whose ox have I taken, or whose donkey have I taken, or whom have I cheated? Whom have I oppressed, or from whose hand have I received any bribe with which to blind my eyes? I will restore it to you."4 And they said, "You have not cheated us or oppressed us, nor have you taken anything from any man's hand."
5 Then he said to them, "The Lord is witness against you, and His anointed is witness this day, that you have not found anything in my hand." And they answered, "He is witness."
Samuel went from being afraid to speak the prophetic word to making all of Israel agree that he had been a capable leader.
It is not unusual for us to struggle with confidence when we first start out, but that struggle will not stay with us for our whole life. Each time we step out, God will back us up and confirm to us that we really did speak His word. (Or He will gently and lovingly correct us if we made a mistake). Our confidence level goes up during that process. At some point, we have experienced God's faithfulness so many times that confidence is no longer a struggle for us.
But we have to start somewhere, and it is usually scary at first. Let me give you one common beginner scenario. We are at church lost in worship and having a great time with God. Then God goes and ruins the worship by giving us a word to share with the congregation. We begin to ponder the gist of the message in our heads, wondering if God really meant us to share it.
We decide to keep silent, but our heart starts to pound and we being to feel like we will explode if we don't speak it forth. So we gingerly begin to make our way to the prophecy microphone. As we go, we notice someone starting at us, surprised to see us preparing to speak forth God's word. That catches us off guard and our knees begin to shake. We wonder, "Does he think that I'm not qualified to prophecy?" We hesitate. We being to question whether or not we should speak this forth. We feel like we are about to explode if we don't share, but we are afraid to share. Thoughts begin to run through our head..."it sounds like something God might say, but what if this isn't Him? I don't want to say 'thus sayeth the Lord' when God is not saying it."
So what do we do at that point? The first thing we should do is to realize that we don't do this in a vacuum and we don't do it alone. The Holy Spirit works with us. He speaks to us about our identity and our calling and our gifting. If He gives us a word, we can go back to Him and silently ask Him, "Lord do you want me to deliver this word?" We have to trust that if God is able to communicate a prophetic word to us, He is also able to answer that question for us.
After we speak a word, we look for the Lord to give us independent confirmation that the word we spoke was really from Him. It might come in the form of positive feedback from the person who we gave the word to. Or perhaps someone who wasn't there when we prophesy says essentially the same thing to us that we had said in the word. Or perhaps we read our bible, and we find trip across a passage that confirms the message. Or God may find another creative way to confirm it to you.
In addition, we also prayerfully review our words with God after the ministry situation is over. (I like to do it just before I go to be at night, but you can do it any time you like.) We ask Him if He liked what we shared. We ask Him to show us if we missed anything or got anything wrong. We ask Him if we accidentally added our own stuff to any part of the word. In short, we debrief with the Lord about our words and we ask Him to help us become better at clearly and accurately representing what He wants to say.
There is one last thing that makes it easier to step out. We don't have to say, "Thus sayeth the Lord," when we are not confident it is the Lord. We can present our words in a tentative style, such as "I believe the Lord is saying..." or "God put it on my heart to share..."
The more we prophesy, the easier it gets and the more our confidence builds.
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